DCB's rants and raves

That's kind of what describes my life lately. Not mentally...well sometimes=)...but just physically and monetarily. But there are small moments that just make you laugh. And that seems to hold you over for another day or two. For instance, this morning while Mila was taking a nap, BB and I discussed our current state of financial stress and just kind of laughed about it cause what can we do??? I said, "do we have anything to sell?" and he said, "trust me, I've already thought of that, I looked at everything yesterday." Then we joked about how we might go steal a christmas tree from someones front yard, dick and jane style. I love that movie...and that just might be us soon.=) But then there are other funny moments that keep ya going. Like the kids conversations. For instance, the other day the boys were dead serious B asking M, " hey, if Mila had a flame thrower and Warren had a rocket launcher, who would win?" M said Mila. Then B asked BB the same thing to which he replied, "i don't know, warren?" B said, "but Mila has a FLAME THROWER!" "Oh, then definately Mila." Hmmmm.

I havn't written for a while. I'm pretty busy lately...but right now I just need some advice! Mila is hating her crib. She can be so sound asleep but as soon as she feels the crib mattress under her sleepy little butt she screams!!! I am currently trying a modified ferber method. As we speak she is upstairs screaming. I have been in twice already and just as I think the cries are dying down, she wails! I know she is physically ok, because as soon as she hears me open the door the crying stops. I can't sleep with her cause she pinches and claws and kicks me all night. It would be so easy to give in right now, but I can't!! But seriously, how long do I let her cry???

I saw a homeless lady on a street corner today. Her sign said, "Homeless. Have cancer. Please help." The first thing that ran through my head was...
my dad had cancer. It killed him and he worked his ass off his whole life before he ever got a chance to relax. But you are lounging by the side of the road looking for help. Then I thought...I am a heartless bitch. This woman is homeless, what's wrong with me. And I waited for the sympathy to come, and it didn't. Does this mean I'm evil???

Last night was my first official night making deliveries and I had M with me. She had hardly slept all day and was on her way to dream land when I put her in her carseat so I thought...piece of cake. Well...after 90 minutes of her absolutely freaking out screaming...and pure hell on my end, I realized she was scared of the GPS voice. Every time she told me to turn, M would scream! So after I figured out how to turn the volume down she was out like a light! Aaaaahhhh, sweet silence. The rest of the night was easy. Although, I must say, without Jason's gps I would've been lost in the back woods of Dexter for quite some time! Yikes! I'm looking forward to a much smoother night tonight.=)

It's so hard to blog these days...I know I have no right to complain with only one baby to take care of, but I am pretty much a single mom most of the time. By the time she is in bed my mind is tired and blank. It turns out when BB is here he is no good for the night crying anyway. She is so used to me doing it that when he tries to go soothe her she freaks out more. Anyway, the latest news is that massage business has slowed down SOOO much it's scary. I'm hoping it was all from the election and things will go back to normal, but I was so stressed about money that I got a 2nd job working for WCT. I'm delivering meds (mostly to adult foster homes) 5 nights a week from about 6-8. I'm so glad JDC hooked me up with that. It pays well and I can either take baby M along for the ride or leave her with Auntie J while I do it. I really wanted to make some extra money without leaving M with a babysitter so this is a blessing. And I can breathe a little easier knowing we can make our house payments for the next few months while BB is not getting paid. As for baby M...she is as cute as ever and a local celebrity! She was on the local news in her halloween costume and then picked as one of their top 5 favorites and was shown at each newshour! She is sitting up really well, but not too interested in crawling. She also has no teeth yet. So, I guess that's about it. Better get some stuff done around here!